I heard today that one of my friends, Martin Supica, has died from cancer, he was my age and although we did not keep in touch that well, it made my heart stop. He was one of the guys who you would never thought of dying of cancer not as his age, not him. He was a lovely guy, smiley, friendly, we did not talk very often only when we met on the street, on the hills, etc, he made me feel comfortable and happy. His dad is lovely too and I feel a lot of sadness for their loss. I know his dad because of my dad, they used to work together for the ski company and we actually still see his dad during the winter season as he still works there. Although a quiet character he doesn’t need to say much but you still know what he means and so full of knowledge about the area, people,places, etc.
That thought, a friend, a friend my age dying inspired a thought what is it that we acquire from life, why do we “fight” to achieve the things in our lives, what are the things that make us happy and why. Why do we want to get the things that we believe make us happy. What make ones life a full life. I would like to think it is an individual thing. Today’s catch phrase seems to be ” I don’t have time” and people glued to their handset or other gadgets talking to people on social networks. What is our problem??
I have an amazing life here, I don’t have to work, although I do because I enjoy it, it is only part time work, I do what I want, which is mostly – spend as much time as possible outside doing just about anything, we keep chickens and this year had 2 lambs and of course I keep bees plus my new hobby is crochet and with that mostly I let my fantasy take over. Otherwise I have all the time in the world, my friends and parents, Roxy plus 3 friends on FB and that is just about it.
I have a very good relationship with my parents and not very good relationship with my sister and her husband, actually we don’t talk. My relationship with my parents got better while I was in England and once I met Michael, as he really made me make contact with them. We used to talk over the phone every weekend, then Skype came along and we spoke just about every night, much more once we have started building. Now my relationship with my parents is good, we actually don’t talk as much, which is ironic, I speak more to my mum and less with my father which was the other way round while I was in the UK but all is good, of course we have our differences but I honestly can’t complain. Either mum comes up or we go down but we just about see each other every day.
With my sister is different, it started long time ago, don’t even remember why but since we have come here to live it really deteriorated. I tried, I tried to the best of my ability to make it work, I believe I have done my bit, but I did not find the same on the other side, now I have given up and show no interest in her or her husband. I find it easier this way I used to worry, think, cry, wished I was not here for quite a long time, now I have decided as we can’t move the house that I can live here and be happy and enjoy my life. There are too many things to mention and there is actually no point whatsoever going into it. Yes it is a shame. Our relationship with their kids is normal considering the circumstances is pretty good really. Of course it would be nice to spend more time with them but, the boys age 17 and 15 have got other interest and the girls age 5 and 2 don’t get to choose.
After the sad news of my friend dying I started to think what is it that I really want from my life. You know that feeling of thinking that you need new this and new that, why don’t we change this and why don’t we change that. Is that right, is it wrong. None of us take time to look at our lives and think how lucky we really are and how we don’t appreciate the simple things in life, because we have had them for a while, nobody thinks something bad will happen to us till it is too late. Nobody knows when they are going to die, but maybe if we knew we would take a bit more care and think more about our actions.
The changes I will make to my life is to enjoy it even more, look after myself, stop paying attention to those whom I dislike and pay more attention to those whom I like. Hope I will make the best of it. I believe that so far I have just played at it, my life that is.
Before the sad news I kept thinking that I seem to be putting a barrier upon myself as in not to let go my true self out, might sounds strange, not sure how to let her free and loosen up, but I feel like I really should, like I have been holding something back and that something is now kicking the door as if to make a break for it.
Thank you M